As a mother and a recovering type-A, it's hard letting your child be their own person. There's SO much you know that they're still learning and figuring out for themselves, but there's also so much time you could save if you just did it for them. If only they knew what you knew, it'd make life a heck of a lot easier -- but you have to let them shine.
My daughter turned five years old almost two weeks ago, and although she's still young, in her five precious years here, I've learnt so much from her. When we take the time to step back as parents and let them lead, we are not only allowing them to thrive how they're supposed to, but we get to see their possibilities. We get to see their actions and their dreams and how they view the world. We let them shine.
And my girl just happened to want to be a unicorn. (Being five is magical ;)
I bought this unicorn headband for her that she loves (literally the best $2 I've spent recently). Absolutely loves. For a few days there, she wanted it on all.the.time. It didn't matter if it was at the park, in bed or at school - that was her look. And I loved it because she loved it.
B U T ... was I tempted (and even tried) to tell her to 'just take the headband off'? Yes. Which is why as a parent, I know we need to be careful to not take away their shine when they don't know any differently because our views are our views (that they don't see from). Their purity of people and the world they view is something I know a lot of us wish we had more of. It's the unbiased, un-opinionated, care-free thought process that lets them shine brightly... as long as we step back.
Was I worried that the kids at the park would make fun of her (and am I afraid to admit that this thought actually crossed my mind especially when three boys came up to her looking to play)? Yes. Because our thoughts, experiences and opinions get in the way; they cloud our vision of what is good because we want to protect them at all costs. It's in the parent code.
Well, I'm happy to say that my little sparkly unicorn played on at the park - boys and all - rocking her unicorn vibes to her core. And it was as shiny as could be - just like her belief in herself and doing things how she wants to. If I'm being honest, I could use a little bit of how my daughter is in me.
It may not always be what we want for them (let's face it - it's basically not even that way half the time!), but they need this for them. They need the opportunity to express themselves how they want to and to grow how they want to. Because if and when we sweep in to stop it, their shine diminishes. It becomes more about us and less about them - as frustrating as it is to just let them be. But it needs to be about them because how else will we shine too if we don't let them?
This is just me thinking out loud right now, so my hope from this post is that you'll see the precious unicorn moment in your child(ren) and smile knowing that this is the perfect opportunity to let them be. To let them shine on knowing we are there shining right beside them. Because it makes the world a brighter place for everyone when we shine together - especially with a unicorn headband on.