how two became three
One year ago today, I woke up just like any other morning.
One year ago today, my hubby was in Florida and I was at home to attend school.
One year ago today, I was preparing to have green drinks for St. Patty's Day with friends.
One year ago today, I bought a test.
This is the story of how two became three.
Before this day back in March 2012, the husband and I had talked about having a baby in the near future. It was in the summer of 2012 (July to be exact) that I decided to go off the pill. I thought I would go off the pill and get pregnant right away. Right? But, enter in: completely changing my diet (eating meat to becoming vegetarian and then vegan), running the most I ever had before (training for a half marathon), and losing weight unintentionally. I'm pretty sure the combination of these things are what lead to me losing my period for over 3 months.
Getting quite frustrated, I eventually went to the doctor and she basically told me that if I did want to get pregnant, I would need to scale back on the running and gain a few pounds. I didn't want to get mad at myself, but I was! I didn't think it was fair that because I was exercising a lot and eating super healthy that my body should punish me for that; I thought it should have done the exact opposite.
Once I had started back to school in September, as a new mature student, I guess the combination of having school work to focus on more than running actually did cause me to gain weight, which did bring back my period late into the fall.
It was about the time that my period came back that I had actually changed my mind and wanted to waita few months until we started trying for a baby. My logic was that if we waited, that I would be able to get one more semester of school out of the way sans baby. (So, the plan would have been to have a baby after April 2013.) The husband was fine with this idea, as well.
(If you've been reading my blog since Nia's birth, then you obviously know that it didn't work out that way - she came in late November 2012.)
The thing is, that if you are planning on waiting a few more months to have a baby, then you should probably be careful even after months of problems with your period and going to the extreme of thinking you're infertile (my mind creates crazy thoughts!). Because, before you know it, you're pregnant without even realizing it. I also think the combination of the pressure being off the situation to have a baby NOW is what lead to me to getting pregnant.
Before actually taking a test (I shrugged it off for a few weeks when the husband said I should get one), even though my period had returned, it wasn't regular (but this was also a hard thing to tell, because I only got two in between not having it for those summer months and finally getting pregnant with Nia); my first one was 31 days longs and the second was 41. Naturally, I just assumed the next one was going to be 51 days long, which is why I delayed buying the test - I honestly thought it was coming.
The husband had left during March Break to help out at a junior golf camp in Florida, and like I said, I stayed home because I was still in school (and my week off school was two weeks prior to this). Conveniently, St. Patty's Day was falling on a Saturday this year, and in spite of my husband leaving me for a whole week and being lonely, I had decided that I wanted to go out with friends to celebrate! When I told him about wanting to do this, that is when he persisted that I should buy a test before going out. Still being somewhat bitter, I told him no! and that I wasn't pregnant, and that I should be the one worrying about myself.
Friday March 16th, 2012: after finishing classes that day, I had decided to run to the grocery store quickly to grab a few items that I wanted for dinner. On my way to pay, I walked through the pharmacy section and notice that one of the pregnancy tests was on sale.
(Side note: before the grocery store, I had only really thought about buying a test at the drug store where there is NO self checkout; this was the only way I wanted to buy a test, seeing as I live in my small hometown that I grew up in, which is part of the reason why I held off on buying one.)
I knew that I would be going through self-checkout, so that no one, other than me, would know that I was purchasing a test (and yes, I really was this paranoid of someone finding out), so I bought it! Since the husband was away, he had NO idea that I was doing this.
I went home and thought I should probably take the test before going out and drinking the next night. So I quickly 'peed on the stick' (as the saying goes), started the shower and was going to wait until after I showered to read the result, but it came up SO fast that I was pregnant, that I didn't even have to wait to step in the shower before it answered me!
I was shocked, to say the least. I was also scared and worried about my future school plans. My immediate reaction was to cry. When I get an idea in my head (especially about waiting to have a baby until after another semester of school was done), I run with it. I was never not happy, I just had to adjust what I originally thought would be the plan.
I also didn't want to tell Tyler that night because he was with his friends, and I didn't want to risk him telling them before we even got a chance to talk about it in person. So, I waited.
He had called me on that Friday night, and had actually asked me if I bought a test. I lied, and told him no, and to stop worrying about it. It ate me up inside that whole night to not tell him. I tried to not talk to him very long on that Friday night, just so I wouldn't say anything! But then as soon as I woke up the next morning, I took a picture of the positive test, and sent him a text message with the caption, "I'm sorry. I lied to you."
My heart was racing waiting for his response. He immediately called me.
He was ecstatic. He told me that as soon as he saw the picture, something inside him changed, and he couldn't stop smiling. I needed this since my head was still so full of confusion. He said we would make it work. I knew he was right.
The next person I had to lie to was my friend, Mel. This was another tough one because I was so excited to go out for St. Patty's Day with her, that me telling her I was "suddenly not feeling well enough to go out" was probably a little fishy. Instead of just going out so I wouldn't have to lie to her, I thought it was probably better to just stay home, rather than try and pretend to drink in front of her and other people.
All in all, hiding when you just find out you're pregnant is probably one of the hardest things to do, especially when your husband isn't with you, and if you decide to hide it from him for a day, also!
And there you have it, one year ago today, it was official that two became three.
I can't believe I ever felt any doubt when I saw that the test was positive because I could never imagine my life, my world, my anything without Nia. Thinking about how amazing she is brings me to tears and makes my heart melt, all at once.
March 16th, 2012 will always be the best news I've ever received. Also, the number '16' in general has such significant meaning to me. It's my birthday (May 16th), my anniversary (October 16th), obviously the day I found out I was pregnant, and it was Nia's due date (November 16th).
What is one of the best pieces of news that you have ever received?!